


Rest Beside the Weary Road

by magickmoons



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Christmas Eve, Family Issues, Friendship, Gen or Pre-Slash, Holidays, M/M, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 02:46:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6177103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magickmoons/pseuds/magickmoons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has been coming to Midnight Mass for years looking for something. What he finds this year is a little different than what he thought he had been looking for. Maybe it's still the right thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rest Beside the Weary Road

**Author's Note:**

> So, I actually started this Christmas fic back right after Christmas 2015. This tells you a bit about how long it can take me to actually finish anything!! I thought about holding it back till next Christmas, but seriously I would either lose it, or edit it to death. So, here's a Christmas fic that's either 2 months late, or 10 months early :) Enjoy!
> 
> * * *

Castiel smiled as he breathed in the subtle scents of incense and candles mingling with those from the brightly colored floral arrangements on the altar. It was his favorite time to be in church, in the quiet hours of Christmas morning. He walked down the aisle slowly, enjoying the feelings of peace and joy that always seemed to linger in the nave after Midnight Mass. _Just a few minutes,_ he thought with a mind to his early morning plans, as he settled into a pew. 

A slight movement drew his eye. He was surprised to see someone else in what he had supposed was the empty church. There was a man near the votive stand, looking up earnestly at the statue of the Blessed Mother, his lips moving in silent entreaty.

The man was wrapped in pain and turmoil, and as he dropped his head, the flickering candlelight highlighted tear tracks on his cheeks. This was obviously a private moment, and Castiel thought about trying to quietly leave; yet to leave someone alone and experiencing that much unrest, especially on this of all nights, felt wrong. So he waited in silence. His eyes were constantly drawn back to the stranger, despite his best intentions to allow him some privacy.

After a few minutes, the man roughly swiped a hand across his face and straightened up. He took a step back, half turning toward the pews, and pulled up short when he saw Castiel sitting there.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I guess I'm keeping you from closing up." His voice was low, rough with emotion but oddly soothing to Castiel's ears, and it spoke of too much time alone. He pulled in on himself as he spoke, waiting to be turned away.

"There's no hurry," Castiel replied. "The church remains open all night. I myself came to spend some time in reflection tonight." The man nodded, but stayed in his defensive posture, so Castiel added, "I hate for anyone to be alone on Christmas, but I would not impose my company on you if you are unwilling."

"Yeah, okay," the man slowly agreed, looking puzzled. Castiel nodded, then returned to his own quiet contemplation. After a moment, there was the sound of soft footsteps. Castiel deliberately did not look up, but was not surprised when the man took a seat next to him.

"My name's Dean," he said quietly, his eyes trained on the festively decorated altar as he spoke.

"I'm Castiel."

The silence was warm between them as they sat. Castiel didn't expect anything more from Dean, pleased that the other man had accepted his offer of companionship at all. He let his mind drift off on the pleasant memories evoked by the rich scents and colorful decorations all around them. He was so absorbed that he nearly jumped when Dean spoke suddenly.

"My mother died when I was young. Really young. There's not a whole lot of memories there, but the last Christmas we had together, she took me to Midnight Mass. It was so exciting, you know?" His wide grin gave Castiel a glimpse of the little boy Dean had been, looking forward to an adventure with his mother. "She woke me up in the middle of the night and brought me to the church." His face softened in memory. "It was beautiful, everything was so bright and warm, and she was beautiful too. I remember looking up at her, and it was like she was just glowing. And everything felt right.

"I come to Midnight Mass every year to try to find that again." He looked down, blinking back tears, then shook his head. "Not really what you're supposed to come to church for, I guess."

Castiel tilted his head, thoughtfully. "Everyone come here for different reasons. They're all equally valid. And I like to think that a lot of it comes down to love. A child's love of a parent, for instance, is an exceptional type of love."

Before his eyes, he could see Dean grow more distant, like some sort of wall had gone up as Castiel spoke. Suddenly, his brother's voice echoed in his head, _"People don't want to be lectured, Cassie; they want to be heard. Listen to what they're really saying."_

Castiel took a breath and recentered himself. "Dean, do you find that peace here?"

The slight slump of Dean's shoulders answered him even before he heard the despondent, "No, not really."

'I'm sorry' was so woefully inadequate to the situation that Castiel didn't even give voice to the words. He found himself desperately wanting to find a way to make this stranger feel better, but nothing came to mind. Before he could settle on something, Dean spoke again.

"We didn't really do a lot of Christmas when we were growing up. After..." He shook his head. "Anyway, Dad was just never really into it." Dean spoke haltingly, his voice quiet, as if he weren't used to such confessions, and it occurred to Castiel that perhaps the best thing he could do for Dean was just to listen.

"I've got a little brother, Sam. A few years ago, he went out to California for school and fell in love. She's got that whole family thing -- eggnog, tinsel, carols around the piano, whatever stuff that normal families do. He never had that, you know? I mean, I tried to make Christmas as good for him as I could, but..." The fond smile that had bloomed at the mention of his brother turned bittersweet. "Could never really do a whole lot, not as much as I wanted. Anyway, it's better than anything I would ever able to pull together for him, so I told him to just stay out there."

Dean waved off the rebuttal that hadn't quite formed in Castiel's mind. "Nah, it's all good. Sammy needs that, you know? The big family Christmas. He deserves it."

Castiel restrained himself from commenting on the implication that Dean didn't deserve to be with people who cared about him. He didn't know enough about the man to mount a convincing protest, although seeing the resignation in Dean's eyes, he felt sure that any such protest would fall on deaf ears.

"Anyway, my birthday is in a few weeks, and Sammy always makes it back for that. We'll see each other then. No point in dragging him all the way out here twice in one month."

Castiel nodded. "You sound like a very good big brother." Maybe too good, although he wished that some of his older siblings could learn a thing or two from Dean. But the other man just ducked his head and grimaced before changing the subject.

"So, what about you, Mr. No-One-Should-Be-Alone-on-Christmas? Any family waiting up wondering where you are at ass-o'clock on Christmas morning?"

Castiel huffed an involuntary chuckle at Dean's colorful language, before becoming more serious.

"My family connections were... severed some time ago. It is an unfortunate situation, but one to which I am accustomed."

Dean shook his head slowly, frowning. "That sucks, man. So what do you do for Christmas? You know, so that _you're_ not alone."

"I usually take a shift at the food bank; I'm working prep and lunch service this year. That way I am not alone, and I am able to help others have a merrier holiday." This had been his tradition since breaking ties with his family, and he had come to value that sense of community and gratitude. He had found over the years that people who seemingly had the least to give were often the most generous of spirit.

Dean nodded thoughtfully. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it. Then he started again. "That's... wow, man, that's actually a really cool idea. I know it's kind of last minute and all, but do you think they could use any more help?"

"There is always something to do. Your participation be most welcome."

"Awesome." Dean smiled broadly. "Where's this place at?"

As he gave Dean directions to the shelter and food pantry just a few blocks away from the church, he couldn't help but notice how energized Dean seemed, how different from even just a few minutes earlier. "I'll be there by 8 am, but as I said, you would be welcome anytime. We start the lunch service at 11."

"Sounds good, man." Dean hesitated, then took a deep breath. "And maybe, afterward... well, I mean, I know I don't really have anyone to do Christmas for, but I love the meal and I'm not a terrible cook, so I've got all the fixin's at my place. Maybe you'd like to come by after, we could share Christmas dinner?"

His eyes were darting around anxiously, looking up toward the altar, over the darkened stained glass windows, and back to Castiel. When their eyes met, Dean's were filled with hope shadowed by embarrassment. "You know, never mind. You've got..."

"I'd love to," Castiel cut him off. Even with the fact that it was already going on 3 AM and he had to get up by 7, and that he had already been planning a long Christmas afternoon nap, he couldn't think of anything he'd rather do. He wasn't entirely sure why it felt so right, but he knew that he wanted to find out. Dean's sudden grin only confirmed that.

"Yeah, well, if that's our plan, I guess we'd better call it a night. Or a morning," Dean winced as he glanced at his watch.

"I believe you are correct." They slowly began to make their way out of the church. Castiel breathed in the crisp, night air as they exited.

Dean pointed down the block. "Well, I'm heading that way."

Castiel nodded in the opposite direction. "And I'm that way. So, I guess I'll see you in the morning."

Dean nodded. "Night, Castiel." He walked backwards a step or two, and then turned away with a quick smile. Castiel began walking, anxious to get home, anxious for Christmas morning for the first time in a very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted to [my tumblr](http://magickmoons.tumblr.com/post/140568823200/rest-beside-the-weary-road)


End file.
